• Jessi Stetina

The promise of answers

For every phone call I receive, I hope and pray it’s the call that brings me solid news. News that maybe they’ve identified the type, have a treatment plan in place, and I’ll finally be out of limbo. News that they can help with my current discomfort. News that maybe it was all a mistake? Okay, I’m pretty sure that call isn’t coming, but if we’re hoping for a miracle, why not a big one?

I’m waiting currently on a call that is supposed to bring me the promise of a treatment plan. I jump with every phone call, because I’ve discovered doctors can and will call you at any time, day or night. On my way home today, I received a call from Dr. Gu. He frantically began asking me questions about my pregnancies. I answered them quickly, hoping this was leading somewhere. No pregnancies since July of 2016. Three pregnancies, natural conception. No complications during pregnancy other than late term hypertension, relatively healthy births. No miscarriages.

“Okay, I’ll call you soon.”

“Wait, wait – when? Tomorrow?”

“No, probably not tomorrow. I’ve got your treatment plan almost finalized, and I have a lot of partners I’m consulting with. I expect to have final review soon – maybe Monday, Tuesday at latest. Okay!”

And that was the conversation.

I’ve gotten to know this doctor well enough at this point to know he has a franticness to him. His urgency can be frustrating, but I take it with the knowledge that he’s racing a clock with my cancer, and he truly is working as hard and fast as he can to put together the pieces of the puzzle.

I trust him, and I trust his team. But I’m left with more questions than answers. What do my pregnancies have to do with this? Could they be related? Is this gynecological in nature? If it is, does that mean more surgery, maybe a hysterectomy? If so, so be it. I don’t need those pieces – take ‘em.

So again…I wait.


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